You missed the off-ramp

Cha'baller: yo
Cha'baller: got any ps3 deals for me?
GorbaChavez: I do not
GorbaChavez: I sold that shite
GorbaChavez: I'm not looking for deals
GorbaChavez: I do need advice though
GorbaChavez: not on women
Cha'baller: well i'm not giving you advice on dudes, ask El Tigre
GorbaChavez: this took an unexpected turn
Cha'baller: i've had my hunches you were into men for a while
GorbaChavez: by hunches do you mean yearnings?
Cha'baller: i got nothing for that

Because you have a bumper sticker that says, "I love it when balls are in my face." ...

NotTheMama: yeah... i think it's a customer loyalty thing... i pressed to speak to their cancellation dept, and i told them i wanted to cancel everything except maybe internet if they gave me a better deal than dsl
GorbaChavez: I approve
NotTheMama: it's nice to finally have the big guys by the balls
GorbaChavez: yes, I know how you like having balls in your mouth hands
NotTheMama: as soon as i typed that i knew i had done wrong

Not the balls. The tits!

GorbaChavez: yeah, that was the tits...
NotTheMama: where did "tits" come from? some movie?
NotTheMama: i take offense to all of this, btw
NotTheMama: why are tits good and balls bad?
NotTheMama: well, okay, i know why tits are good and balls are bad
GorbaChavez: I think we're done here

Let your fingers do the walking and your ass do the talking

Cha'baller: How's the call going?
GorbaChavez: got pushed back to 11;30
Cha'baller: did you tell them that means you won't be calling in?
Cha'baller: or maybe you're wearing your consultant pants today; the ass-less ones
GorbaChavez: they are crotchless
Cha'baller: just lean over and insert the phone
GorbaChavez: let my ass do the talking, is it?
Cha'baller: you might say that
GorbaChavez: my ass did
GorbaChavez: ...just say that
Cha'baller: your ass works the keyboard too?
GorbaChavez: it's versasstile
Cha'baller: I'm guessing you let it hunt-and-peck with a pencil
GorbaChavez: you like how I did that with my ass'ing
Cha'baller: yes, yes I do

Ah, Delicious Racism

GorbaChavez: say what?
  Black College Football Experience - The Doug Williams Edition
Iceberg: "But the football game's only half the show. Experience the pageantry in two rhythm games, Drum Line Challenge and the interactive Halftime Show."

There and back again

NotTheMama: back on the work from home racket
NotTheMama: about to watch nathan fillion on craig ferguson
NotTheMama: hmm... that didn't come out right
GorbaChavez: one question. are you wearing pants?
NotTheMama: as long as you have no follow up questions, then no, I am not wearing pants
NotTheMama: and neither was nathan
NotTheMama: or nick fallon, as he is known to some
GorbaChavez: and the circle is now complete
NotTheMama: i think because i have man crushes on both of them, that interview induced a mild orgasm
NotTheMama: pants notwithstanding
GorbaChavez: I need to sign-off now
NotTheMama: we shall not speak of this again

And put a dot on that "i"! Aww poi!

NotTheMama: that reminds me... i was listening to 107.5 this morning, and they had "pornographic traffic"
GorbaChavez: I...what?
GorbaChavez: that has so many levels of...something
NotTheMama: yes. basically a traffic segment with moans and groans and inyourendos
NotTheMama: i'm like, wtf, do i really need to be turned on before having to go to work?
GorbaChavez: the answer is in the question?
NotTheMama: and the question is in my pants?
GorbaChavez: well, that is a question
GorbaChavez: or at least, questionable
NotTheMama: i think we're done here

Captain N[erd]

GorbaChavez: I vote for a Nintendo power glove type navigation/input control
NotTheMama: how cool would the office be if everyone was using those
GorbaChavez: it would be this cool...
NotTheMama: you don't understand... i'm also thinking VR glasses
NotTheMama: i'm so far ahead of my time that i've traveled back to the 80s
GorbaChavez: you are saying you've lapped us?
NotTheMama: at least once

Captain Beefheart

Der Kapitän: enough of that ...
Der Kapitän: let's be men again!
Der Kapitän: do you want to meet for a salad and a slushy?
GorbaChavez: I don't think I can ever be man enough for you
Der Kapitän: oh well .. .nobody can ... that's why I chose women ...

Shank you very much

GorbaChavez: there needs to be a "shank" emoticon
Mich-Mich: yes cause right now i would use it 50x on you
GorbaChavez: 50?
GorbaChavez: that's a lot of shanking
GorbaChavez: your little arm would get tired after ten
Mich-Mich: my little arm?!
Mich-Mich: i can still do 50. 10 on each arm which is 20, 10 each foot, thats 40 and 10 in my mouth, makes 50!!
GorbaChavez: wait, we're still talking about shanks? ...or something else?