I'm in Miami Bitch!

Till-man: oh, i'm heading to miami with Cotton Schwab on the 29th
Till-man: i've never been to miami
GorbaChavez: you might want to buff up and get a tan then
Till-man: yeah, not going to happen but i will be dressing like horatio every day
Till-man: i'm getting some black shirts tight tailored
GorbaChavez: are they shiny? make sure they are shiny.
Till-man: now they are
Till-man: the pants are tight too
Till-man: i even have driving mocs

The Money Shot

Vanilla Iceberg: I think you should use the Google Calendar API to mashup her Facebook with your social media.
GorbaChavez: I'm going to spew my social media all over her face[book]
GorbaChavez: What? when did Cha'baller get here?
Vanilla Iceberg: I thought he was joe-jobbing your IM client again.
GorbaChavez: I should probably change my password

Aske me about my weiner!

Major Suckage: I need some clever taglines for my match.com profile!

Major Suckage: All I could think of was, "I run with scissors."

GorbaChavez: your tag line should be, "Ask me about my large cock"
Major Suckage: Wow. Just.......wow. But how did you......wait, did you drug me when I was at your house last? I couldn't figure out why my fly was open.
GorbaChavez: I thought you were cool with it after you asked for your third refill on the Roofie Colada

Major Suckage: I don't know whether to call the police or come over this weekend.

I think we only use 10 percent of our hearts

GorbaChavez: gah!
Major Suckage: Looks like you caught me with my pants down.
GorbaChavez: I got you just where I want you?
Major Suckage: This just got weird.
GorbaChavez: c'mon baby. don't be that way
Major Suckage: I'm not falling for that again. I'm not falling for that, "Just the tip" line again either.
GorbaChavez: I have to admit, I was surprised you went for it on the fifth time...