Precious

GorbaChavez: the new price on the old iPad is compelling
GorbaChavez: but I would probably want the iPad2
GorbaChavez: shit just represents so much utility for our demographic
Vanilla IceBerg: The "always buying things" demographic?
Vanilla IceBerg: Or Mexicans?
GorbaChavez: you'll rue the day when we're stuck in a mine and I have my iPad2 and you just have your deposit book, with all your mobneys
Vanilla IceBerg: Like, I'm huddled in the corner, stroking my old-school deposit book.
GorbaChavez: whispering, "Soon, my pretty.  Very, very soon..."

I don't know or care what that is

Vanilla IceBerg: SMS exchange with Cristmas:

Cristmas: So tried to run a report and got the following error "the bootstrap sequence has failed". Awesome, huh?
Cristmas: So called IT and they were usual helpful self. 'you have to hard wired or wifi to download dashboard. Your wireless card doesn't work well'
Me: Wat?
Cristmas: What I heard is 'we have shitty software that requires huge downloads of data. Because of this until you have the same error on wifi go fuck yourself'
Me: I could not possibly be more attracted to you than I am right now.

Gorbachavez: I lol'd
Gorbachavez: you continue to be my favorite humans
Vanilla IceBerg: Ironically.
Vanilla IceBerg: I was trying like crazy to get Baby A on "tape" saying "Never take off robot pants," this weekend.
Vanilla IceBerg: I'm hoping for success soon.
Gorbachavez: I could not possibly be more attracted to you than I am right now.
Vanilla IceBerg: </scene>

Sacrifices Must Be Made

Orville Fehrenbacher: Started trying Rhapsody this weekend
GorbaChavez: OH RLY?
Orville Fehrenbacher: not sure how I lived my life before this
GorbaChavez: that sounds about right
Orville Fehrenbacher: It seems too good to be true, the more I think about it
GorbaChavez: let's just say, I used to have three children

Eating Disorder

GorbaChavez: I have a new found appreciation for language in general
GorbaChavez: like, it's the greatest man-made invention, ever.
Vanilla IceBerg: I'm sure that's true.
Vanilla IceBerg: In particular, the word "taco."
Vanilla IceBerg: Because it describes tacos.
Vanilla IceBerg: Like, without that word, the best thing ever would be rendered inexpressible.
GorbaChavez: like, the set of emotions of experiencing a taco mixed with the inability to express it [the experience] would cause people's heads to explode. thereby, making the taco, literally, the last thing you do on earth.
Vanilla IceBerg: A collective consciousness gone supernova. Exactly.

Don't eat the yellow snow!

Till-Man: i see you've been busy: http://jalopnik.com/#!5750171/yes-thats-a-snow-penis
GorbaChavez: that's not how I make a snow penis
Till-Man: is yours brown'er?

SNOMGWTF!

Vanilla Icberg:  SNOMGWTF!
Vanilla Icberg::  So, according to the socials, you got stuck last night?
GorbaChavez:  i'm still at the office
Vanilla Icberg:  Dot dot dot...
Vanilla Icberg::  I assume it was like this in 1999 too, but I didn't go out in that one either.
GorbaChavez:  you weren't hatched yet
Vanilla Icberg:  I was near the end of the college.
GorbaChavez:  is that what they told you?
Vanilla Icberg:  It is.
GorbaChavez  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0124298/
Vanilla Icberg:  Does that make you my Alicia Silverstone?
GorbaChavez  as if!

I'm too young to die!

GorbaChavez: dun, dun, dun. one of our sites went down
Vanilla IceBerg: Oh, damn.
Vanilla IceBerg: Too much traffic?
GorbaChavez: I wonder.  Our  team had been on alert anticipating this might happen today.
Vanilla IceBerg: "Team, we believe it's possible that more than two people will use our website AT THE SAME TIME."
GorbaChavez: Gasps from everyone gathered. And a feint stench of urine.

The Golden [shower] Army

Remington Steele: i liked some of hell boy 2 
Remington Steele: not the giant plant monster
Remington Steele: but the bad guy elf was bad ass
Remington Steele: the robot army was lame
GorbaChavez: yes. yes. and yes.
GorbaChavez: the bad guy elf was also the bad guy vampire in Blade Trinity, which I think failed to meet its potential
Remington Steele: i didn't see that one
GorbaChavez: I will admit my man-crush on Ryan Reynolds
Remington Steele: well that came out of almost nowhere
Remington Steele: you could've gone a lot of routes there; jessica biel, vampires... but no, you went right after van wilder

GorbaChavez: if I could someone combine a hug and a hi-5 together, that is what I would give to you 
Vanilla Iceberg: I like it.
GorbaChavez: I meant somehow, obvios 
GorbaChavez: I don't think I can someone someone or something 
GorbaChavez: maybe that's the riddle to "accidentally the whole bottle"
Vanilla Iceberg: Yeah, like that's the missing link.
Vanilla Iceberg: Or verb.
GorbaChavez: they accidentally someone'd the whole bottle

I miss your musk

Till-Man: yo, shoot me your address 
GorbaChavez: 1313 Mockingbird Lane
Till-Man: thanks! 
GorbaChavez: are you sending me a Fleshlight?
Till-Man: I would but "nina" stays with me