More bounce for the ounce

GorbaChavez: according to google analytics, our DJ site has a 50% bounce rate
IceBerg: please to be explaining a bounce rate.
IceBerg: this is the number of people who start "bouncin" upon hearing the music?
GorbaChavez: that works for me
IceBerg: then it's settled

A winnar is you!

Till-Man: ¿Has oído?
GorbaChavez: ¡¿oido que interrobang‽
Till-Man: i can't compete on this level
GorbaChavez: I'm glad we're done here

Power on Spam-bot!

elvin.ferrellztihxydtnesb: hey u there hzbly
IceBerg: hello, spammer
elvin.ferrellztihxydtnesb: hi Iceberg how r u ? i'm Nicole :)
IceBerg: no you're not
elvin.ferrellztihxydtnesb: i hope u dont mind i got ur info from Maria
IceBerg: oh, yes, Maria gives my information to spammers all the time, that wily bitch
elvin.ferrellztihxydtnesb: I just moved here from outta town, she said u were cool people :):)
IceBerg: when you moved, were you able to fit the last name of "Ferrellztihxydtnesb" on your mailbox?
elvin.ferrellztihxydtnesb: r u busy this week? we should meet up grab a drink... have alil fun ;)
IceBerg: I mean, how much would that cost? "Ferrellztihxydtnesb?" that shit's like $10 a letter at Home Depot!
elvin.ferrellztihxydtnesb: hi Iceberg how r u ? i'm Allison :)
The Turing Test: you're doing it wrong

Avast! Captain Puffy-Pants be after me booty!

Two Dolla Cha'balla: where be my cap?
GorbaChavez: on me desk
Two Dolla Cha'balla: arrr, i be takin it
GorbaChavez: whenever a roll of toilet paper runs out, my oldest grabs the cardboard tube and pretends it's a telescope and starts talking in pirate
Two Dolla Cha'balla: i save those, and give them to my uncle, who owns some gerbils
Two Dolla Cha'balla: who apparently enjoy them
GorbaChavez: uh
Two Dolla Cha'balla: whut?
GorbaChavez: tubes, gerbils, [dirty] uncle
GorbaChavez: do the math
Two Dolla Cha'balla: the gerbils chew on the tubes
GorbaChavez: oh....oh!
Two Dolla Cha'balla: you need plastic tubes for that crazy shit
Two Dolla Cha'balla: and hampsters
GorbaChavez: ...
Two Dolla Cha'balla: gerbils are tiny
GorbaChavez: so you are saying that gerbils are too small for you to use for that?
Two Dolla Cha'balla: i'm saying the internet is a woderful resource for learning about everything
GorbaChavez: apparently so is Uranus

Helen, take a memo

NotTheMama: i wouldn't be surprised if some of their depts still sent messages via those vacuum tubes from the 80s
GorbaChavez: those are awesome
NotTheMama: i know
GorbaChavez: until your shirt gets stuck in it
GorbaChavez: then you have to explain why your'e standing half-naked in the mail room
NotTheMama: oh... that usually requires explanation?
GorbaChavez: yes, only for the topless kind of half-naked though
NotTheMama: mental note made

Adrian!

GorbaChavez: oh fuck. tough guy just made the claim that he "used to be a programmer"
IceBerg: BAA HA HA HA HAHA LOLZ
IceBerg: and he was so good he does tech support now
IceBerg: "yeah, I used to be an investment banker, but those guys are douchebags, so I clean the toilets now."
***GorbaChavez is to be LOL'ing
GorbaChavez: maybe he was an excel programmer?
IceBerg: I was thinking HTML programmer
IceBerg: or mainframe data entry programmer
GorbaChavez: or VCR programmer
IceBerg: FTW
***GorbaChavez does the Rocky victory dance
***IceBerg thinks he hears "Eye of the Tiger" faintly in the distance

Who's the fairest of them all?

Two Dolla Cha'balla: do you do yahoo answers?
GorbaChavez: in terms of answering the questions?
Two Dolla Cha'balla: yesh
Two Dolla Cha'balla: i'm level 2, but it's taking forever to get to level 3
GorbaChavez: asking yourself "am I gay" over and over again isnt' the way to get to level 3...

nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh. Till-Man!

IceBerg: seriously, as part of the preliminary experimentation for our upcoming web two-dot-oh applications, I checked out how Unicode submission in a web form actually works. it's a den of horrors.
GorbaChavez: do we like dens of horrors?
IceBerg: no, we like dens of whores
GorbaChavez: another post! to the blogs!

and thean?

IceBerg: that seems workable
GorbaChavez: it's the bedroom, I would care less about it then a more public area
IceBerg: you also care less about spelling "than" correctly
GorbaChavez: I spelled than and then correctly...
GorbaChavez: I simply misused them
IceBerg: like I misused this conversation
GorbaChavez: then I kicked you in the balls for being a bigger douche than me

As your attorney on this matter, I advise you to blog this...

IceBerg: I hate miscellaneous shopping of all types (e.g., Target), but the grocery store is in a category by itself.

GorbaChavez: if this conversation involved Cha'baller he would be chiming in, "but that's where you go to hook up with all the hot moms!"
IceBerg: wow, I can actually imagine that exact sentence being emitted by him
IceBerg: I wonder how many hot moms with whom he's actually hooked up?
GorbaChavez: zero is my guess.  I would bet money
IceBerg: I would actually lay odds that it's zero
GorbaChavez: you could probably increase that sample size by replacing 'moms' with girls/women
GorbaChavez: and still come up with the same result
GorbaChavez: I'm only saying what you're thinking
IceBerg: that sounds like it could have come out of my mouth
GorbaChavez: except that you would have used words like 'standard deviation', 'coeficient' (but spelled correctly), and 'quadratic'
IceBerg: nice